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LIFE & LIVING
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stephanieraffelock
- Apr 17, 2020
- 2 min
WHAT IT MEANS TO AGE GRACEFULLY ...
When I was a young woman, I was caught by the expression, “You are what you eat.” I still believe that, and not just in terms of the body. What we feed our body is important, but what we feed our mind and spirit are equally important. We need to be vigilant in remembering that lying on our backs in the grass and watching the clouds float by is more nourishing than sitting on a couch and cruising Facebook or Instagram on our cell phone. To nourish body, mind, and spirit is to
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stephanieraffelock
- Mar 24, 2020
- 3 min
What It Means to Age Gracefully…
To age gracefully is to age with gratitude. I embrace, believe and experience this truth every day. Walking life in gratitude is not just a desired quality to aging well, it’s also an antidote for fear, anxiety and mistrust. Our evolution, our awakening as loving human beings is a lifetime journey that constantly asks us to practice gratitude. As a young woman, I read Ram Dass’ book, Be Here Now. It’s the title that inspires me today. Recently we’ve all experienced worry
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stephanieraffelock
- Mar 4, 2020
- 2 min
What It Means to Age Gracefully…
One definition of the phrase aging gracefully means that we look younger than our years. But that’s a sorry and shallow definition, and one we’d do well to put aside. Our worth has never been about how we look. The message that older women want younger women to receive is that value in life has nothing to do with our looks and everything to do with what’s in our heart. And that message is one that we need for ourselves too as the years increase. The body changes. Wrinkles a
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stephanieraffelock
- Jan 11, 2020
- 2 min
In the Age of Me, Me, Me, Me . . .
Writing is one thing. Marketing yourself to the world is another. On the one hand I don’t think that the desire for readers is an unreasonable one for a writer to have. On the other hand, I feel like that little kid on the diving board screaming across the pool to her parents: “watch me, watch me, watch me,” just before she dives into the pool. Marketing myself, my message and my book is in part exciting because it will bring me readers. But another part of me, the old-s
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stephanieraffelock
- Oct 10, 2019
- 3 min
Suitable for Re-framing
My mom: Cleopha Marie Tylenda There aren’t a lot of photos of my mother as a little girl. Personal
photography was not a common thing when she was growing up. Rather, it was the
work of a hired professional. For an ordinary family, it was a big deal to
memorialize a moment of life in a photograph. Yet a handful of images from my
mother’s young life exist. A framed photograph on my living room bookshelf shows mom
when she was about two years old. Holding onto her small toddler
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stephanieraffelock
- Oct 2, 2019
- 2 min
Welcome to Podcasting
A little coffee to go with Coffee Table Wisdom Launching my podcast, Coffee Table Wisdom, reminds me of when I first launched a blog. Although my first blog wasn’t really launched; it was more like a shy tiptoe into a world where stories and essays became public and could be read by anyone. I have to admit, it’s still thrilling to click on “publish” and see my work come up on a colorful page that has pictures and headings. Podcasting is just another way to tell a story. It’s
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stephanieraffelock
- Sep 5, 2019
- 4 min
Living Out This Idea of Love
It seems to me that the universe is bound together by dancing molecules of love. I’ve had a couple of rough weeks. Free floating anxiety. Restless sleep. Self doubt. It was as if my psyche developed little cracks and all of that seeped in. I didn’t immediately recognize that I was in distress. Then, this morning, I was awake at 4:00am, swimming in worry and anxiety that wasn’t attached to anything real: would I lose my wallet in the airport when I travel next week? Is my
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stephanieraffelock
- Apr 17, 2019
- 4 min
Does Aging Really Suck?
I was talking to a woman the other day who told me that she and all of her friends think that getting older sucks. Her mind set was the opposite of my own. We all deal with this phase of life differently. Some people go into it with a smile on their face and a heart full of gratitude and others dig in their heels, incensed that they are losing their physical beauty as well as flexibility and strength in their bodies. They may be taking care of an older parent, whose physica
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stephanieraffelock
- Jan 1, 2019
- 3 min
2019!
Happy 2019! New Year’s Day: Even if you don’t make resolutions, which I don’t, there’s a feeling of freshness and excitement about starting a new year that makes us want to be better people. I like having New Year’s Day as a holiday. It’s a good day to prioritize and set up a pattern for the coming year. Priorities: Recently I read a post by my favorite psychologist, Benjamin Hardy (if you don’t know who he is, look him up). He wrote about the concept of prioritizing. I’m p
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stephanieraffelock
- Apr 1, 2018
- 2 min
A Birthday Selfie – Reflections on 66!
My friends are precious to me, some known for 40 and 50 years. They’re the source of birthday cards and calls, emails and birthday lunches. Gestures of love scatter like almond blossoms across a well-worn path, and I feel blessed that it’s the small, heart-felt things that have come to mark the years. The past and the future colloid: I’m rooted in the longhaired, idealistic girl with bare feet and poetry on her lips; now the serious writer, with wool socks and messy pages, tr
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stephanieraffelock
- Jan 25, 2018
- 2 min
A Morning From A Child’s Page
The morning is black and the days are slow to gather light. Winter hovers over us with piercing silence and the language of snow. A chipped ceramic statue of Mary lives on the dining room table and watches me play. I pray to her, asking her to bring my mother back. The sound of a chair scrapping against the worn linoleum, and the creak of the floor against Julia’s shoes break the spell. I can smell biscuits and coffee and I get up from my warm place by the stove and sit down
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stephanieraffelock
- Jan 14, 2018
- 3 min
The Year of Convictions
I like the “new” in front of New Year. Other than that, there’s not really anything that I celebrate. New Year’s eve is my least favorite night of the year to be out and about. People are drinking and they are driving. Restaurants over charge for big meals and staying up until midnight to yell “Happy New Year,” holds absolutely no appeal. So, like most New Year’s, I was in bed and asleep by ten. There are no New Year resolutions for me, because every time I make a resolution,
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stephanieraffelock
- Dec 19, 2017
- 5 min
Joy To The Choir
This is an older post, but one that I had a lot of fun remembering and writing. I’m sharing it here again in the spirit of the season. Happy Holidays, friends. Thanks for being a part of my world. All good wishes and good will for the new year! It wasn’t fair! For two years in a row, Cheryl McAdams got to be Mary and wear the blue veil and hold the baby Jesus doll in the Christmas Pageant. Cheryl McAdams stepped on my feet whenever she could, leaving black marks on my white
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stephanieraffelock
- Nov 27, 2017
- 3 min
The Transformative Force of Grief
Is it uniquely American to pick and choose emotional states, as if from a menu? Be happy. Don’t be angry. Choose joy, not sorrow. Aim for bliss. A positive attitude can be a strength in our lives, but what happens when it’s at the expense of authenticity? There’s A Time and a Place: Ecclesiastes reminds us that to every thing there is a season, and a time to every purpose under heaven… So doesn’t that mean that there is a time to celebrate and a time to grieve? The Lotus Grow
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stephanieraffelock
- Aug 13, 2017
- 3 min
The Story Gatherer and the Fairy Chairs
For a few weeks now I’ve been grappling with recent rejections. One day I’m strong and tough skinned and two days later, the disappointment at not having sold my novel creeps in and wraps its greasy little paws around my neck. This morning as I sat in bed with my tea, I asked myself if I was depressed. No, not depressed. I didn’t want to hurt myself or anyone else. I wasn’t planning on staying in bed all day. Joy of life? Well, it was a little compromised, a “down, but not ou
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stephanieraffelock
- Jul 9, 2017
- 3 min
8 Steps to Dynamic Living After 60 (Or Really Anytime)
Is it the need to heal some childhood wound of wanting to get it right? Or is there a deeper reason, like wanting to get the most from life? On some level, no matter how successful you are, or how right you get it, we all know the truth, that life is only temporary. And that’s what makes me want to live as fully as I can. Satisfaction and Success: Satisfaction is sustainable, and success sometimes unattainable. Success is results oriented, often associated with fame and pros
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stephanieraffelock
- Jun 5, 2017
- 2 min
Insecurity, Not Good Enough and Other Sucky Things Writers Do to Themselves
On the one hand, you have to be a little bit crazy to want to lock yourself into a room several hours each day to create worlds with the written word. On the other hand, story telling is sacred art. Stories can teach us, provoke us and make us feel and think in ways that we might not have otherwise. And the writer is always looking for this–what is it that I am writing which touches a universal place in the human condition? Even with a lofty vision of what writing is to you,
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stephanieraffelock
- May 20, 2017
- 1 min
My Summer To-Do List
This morning I made myself a to-do list, a reminder list of the simple things that make me a kinder, happier person. I hope that you find some value in it too and that maybe you’ll make your own list. Here’s mine: Strive to be authentic and honest with yourself and those you meet along the way. Admit your faults. Say “I’m sorry.” No matter how healthy you get, eat bacon once a month. Say “thank you.” Spend a lot of time in the garden and in the woods and always take your dog
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